Mermaid Hostel

Appropriation of the highest form and the dissolution of dichotomies are currently exemplified by one and only Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana. How often have we wanted to transform ourselves, make that quick change like in the film The New Guy? Shakespeare dotted his plays with many twins, cross-dressing and cases of mistaken identity. While Disney-watching children revel in the secret of Hannah Montana’s true identity, parents fully support the fact that both her faces are so wholesome.

So while I can only equate tween madness like this to my own love of rainbows, unicorns or Harry Potter, the use of Miley Cyrus as a point of inspiration exists. Below is a commission for family of friends who supposedly rocked the hell out at a Miley Cyrus concert. Cartoonist, Beth Hetland, has also rolled in some money of the Hannah Montana wave with preserving her blond visage on a plate FOREVER. Amazing rapper and friend, Adam WarRock even sampled ‘Party in the USA’ in a song, Bad Meaning Good, that perfectly describes why we enjoy these things.

But what has this female Superman actually accomplished other than tell an entire town her true identity, thus endangering future tween happiness (and her parents’ bank accounts)? She’s encouraged leading similar bebangled singing lifestyles with some rather atrocious lyrics. She’s encouraged her friends to constantly lie for her, no doubt raising their young blood pressures and confusing right with wrong. If Milannah really wanted to push boundaries beyond a hair color, she’d actually sing as a man or pterodactyl or small solar system. But that is merely my love the absurd peaking its head out, so I propose the challenge for the 2030 Miley Cyrus Comeback Tour that she at least be part tree or mothered the next Time Lord.

In case I just ruined the mystery of the cosmos by telling you Hannah and Miley are ONE, feel free to commiserate along with Beth Hetland and see Hannah transform by the power of FIRE.